I've
lived according to a philosophy of 'décroissance', or 'de-growth', for
many years now. It might have started with my childhood interest in
homesteading- like “Little House on the Prairie”. To me, those
resourceful, ingenious people learned how to live completely
autonomously, growing their own food, making their own tools and
clothes, building their own houses. As I got older, I realised the utter
madness of infinite economic growth on a finite planet. I started going
to meetings called 'Café Décroissance', which had conferences, films,
and discussions on economic de-growth, and I was convinced. I tried to
bring the concept of de-growth to every aspect of my life, which
includes using my bike as transportation, eating no meat, buying as
little as I can, and building my own off-grid Tiny House using natural
and recycled materials.
But
now, after several years, I've come to a point of crisis. I feel like
I'm doing everything I possibly can, and nothing changes. This is
psychologically wearing, and I feel like I'm suffering for it. It's time
for a new philosophy. Here's a few reasons why:
- Personal ecological gestures are not enough to 'solve' a systemic crisis.
- Constantly feeling helpless, angry, and sad at what is happening in the world turns a systemic crisis into a personal, psychological crisis.
- I don't know how to be a human, or in other words, how to justify my existence (Simply the fact of living in a developed country means that my footprint is already way beyond planetary limits).
- I am lucky enough to have thought-space to spare to think about these problems (I am not starving, lacking drinking water or shelter, in a war, or in any kind of traumatic situation)
- Décroissance, voluntary simplicity, minimalism: all of these are concepts that start from a point of privilege. For example, many older-generation people tend to hoard things, to keep everything, to "save for a rainy day". This is a mindset due to past hardships. If they had lived through WW2, for example, or the hard years that followed, the memory of rationing and shortages is engrained in their consciousness. It also makes me think of a dog I know, who was found starving on the street. This dog now wolfs down her food, as much as she can get and as fast as she can swallow. This behaviour is surely due to the memory of hunger engrained in her consciousness. So how could I communicate voluntary simplicity to a grandmother? (or explain to the dog that she can now savour her food?) I arrived at a décroissance mindset because I have never lacked anything. And I don't feel very legimate to try to justify décroissance to those who have always lacked, or to populations who have historically been denied access to "modern comfort" in all of its various forms.
- I would like to be able to explain why I feel compelled to go on these philosophical or meaning quests. I am lucky to be in a loving relationship but my partner has grown up with a lack of affection. For her, as long as she has love and her basic needs are met, nothing else seems necessary. So why am I questioning my place in the world when we have each other and we could just curl up in front of a movie?
- Perhaps this feeling comes from my own lacks: I don't have a spiritual grounding in any kind of religion. My childhood did not contain any kind of 'higher power' guidance- I was told (implicitly or explicitly) that I should rely only on my own willpower and hard work. But the ultimate goal- the telos- is missing. All the willpower I can muster will not change everything that needs to be changed. And striving for personal material success inside a system that will surely collapse seems a bit futile- I mean, why? Why? WHY?
More
and more, I feel like I need to integrate a spiritual dimension into my
philosophy of life. It's as if décroissance was making me try to fit
into a smaller and smaller box (and I'm not just making a reference to
living in 13m2!). I can’t just whittle away at my own use of resources
without acknowledging that I am a node within an interconnected web of
nodes that includes both human and non-human beings. In fact, trying to «
perfect » my own life might even be dangerously close to the
ego-centrism and individualism that got us into this mess in the first
place. So I (we?) need to start thinking about the connections between
the nodes. And the possibility that we are participating in something
bigger than us. To believe in a whole that is bigger than the sum of its
parts- well, that requires a leap of faith that could be described as
spiritual.
My mental wanderings in the past months have taken me to ecopsychology, Gaia theory, shamanism, and most recently, Taoism. The connecting thread between all of these interests is trying to 'dissolve' my self, the Ego, into a fabric that includes all things. It hasn't been easy- the self resists this unraveling. But I think that's the key to not getting too caught up in individual events. Instead of thinking, 'I'm just a drop in the ocean- nothing I do will make any difference' think 'I am a cell that is part of the living organism that is the Earth.' There are other cells that are cancerous- but the more healthy cells there are, the more the whole organism will get along all right.
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